Apprendre le français, c’est facile – au début. Vous savez dire “oui”, “merci”, “bonsoir”, les premières règles de grammaire… Vous progressez vite, c’est bien !
Mais après, c’est le plateau. Vous tournez en rond. Tout devient difficile. Et vous n’arrivez toujours pas à discuter normalement avec des Français – ou même regarder un film sans sous-titres !
C’est frustrant. C’est normal. Ça arrive à tout le monde. Et bonne nouvelle : vous pouvez vous en sortir.
Learning French is easy – at first. You can say ‘oui’, ‘merci’, ‘bonsoir’, the first grammar rules… You make fast progress, that’s good!
But then, there’s the plateau. You spin in circles. Everything becomes difficult. And you still can’t talk normally with French people – or even watch a movie without subtitles!
It’s frustrating. It’s normal. It happens to everyone. And good news: you can get through it.
Allez, c’est parti !
1) You’re not bad at languages
Learning French can be so frustrating. The grammar is strange. It’s all illogical: why is “une voiture” (= a car) in the feminine, but “un autobus” (= a bus) in the masculine? Why should we “Il n’est pas là” but not “Il n’est pas ici” for “He’s not here” ?
You’re right to be confused. You’re allowed to feel frustrated.
You’re not stupid, you’re not “bad at learning” or even “bad at French” !
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2) How it suddenly gets difficult
At the beginning, you progress quickly. You have a lot of motivation and the rules seem kind of easy.
Like the conjugation of “chanter” (to sing) in the present:
- Je chante
- Tu chantes
- Il chante
- Nous chantons
- Vous chantez
- Ils chantent
You do have to learn it, but it’s kind of regular, and it applies to a ton of other verbs: “marcher” (to walk), “parler” (to talk), “acheter” (to buy)…
But at some point, you’ll read something like : “Je vais au marché.” (= I’m going to the market.) That’s the verb “aller”, to go. Why doesn’t it follow the same rules as “marcher” ?
Yeah that’s an exception. Its conjugation is something else entirely.
And that’s how advanced French gets you!
At first, when you find something weird, like “Je vais”, you kind of hope that it’s just another simple rule you’re going to learn soon. But actually, each case has several rules and each of these rules has some exceptions.
Like how we say “soixante” (60), “soixante-dix” (70, or “60 and 10”) and “quatre-vingt” (80, or “4 times 20”). Or the difference between “un manche long” (= a long handle) and “une manche longue” (= a long sleeve) – where the feminine of a word can change nothing or add several letters, and change the meaning!
It becomes a lot to learn, and it gets confusing, and you start to lose your motivation.
But you know what? No, that’s not the real problem.
The real problem is that French people talk too fast.
3) The real challenge
When learning French with written lessons, you tend to learn the rules of written French. Learning rules after rules and exceptions after exceptions could be rewarding – if at least you could use them quickly to communicate.
But in real life (or in realistic movies and French programs), you realize that you can’t understand what French people are saying – and they don’t even seem to follow the rules you’ve spent so much time learning. It feels like a different language!
That’s demoralizing.
Yes, spoken French, the one that we use in everyday life, can be different from what you found in textbooks for official exams.
For instance, a sentence in “correct,” written French, could be:
Je n’y suis pas opposé, mais je ne peux pas l’aider pour le moment.
(= I’m not against it, but I can’t help her right now.)
While in everyday spoken French, we’d rather say:
Ben c’est pas qu’j’veux pas mais j’peux pas l’aider, là.
We wouldn’t even write it down like this, but that’s definitely how it would sound. French people can skip syllables, even whole words, and use informal vocabulary.
It’s important to know the grammar rules of written French. But that’s not how you can communicate, or keep your motivation, or have fun with the language. So before you lose your sanity over the subjunctive conjugation of “prendre”, you might want to get a feel for the basic patterns of spoken French first.
4) Spoken French: the basics
Let’s take a look at this sentence:
Eh bien, ce n’est pas que je ne veux pas, mais je ne peux pas l’aider, maintenant.
(= Well, it’s not that I don’t want to, but I can’t help her right now.)
That’s not a formal sentence, but it’s squarely in the “written French” camp.
Its spoken French version could be the one we’ve seen before:
Ben c’est pas que j’veux pas mais j’peux pas l’aider, là.
Let’s see exactly how I turned it into spoken French.
It starts with “Eh bien” (“oh well”). It’s a filler word, but it’s the written French version. In real conversation, we would probably shorten it to “Ben”. Similarly, “maintenant” is too long for our taste, so we’d use the shortest alternative: “là”. It becomes a bit of a filler word too.
Filler words are very common in spoken French, especially “euh” or “quoi”, but also things like “alors” or “du coup.”
Now we have:
Ben, ce n’est pas que je ne veux pas, mais je ne peux pas l’aider, là.
It’s still too formal for a conversation. Mostly, we would cut the ne in the negations. That’s not something we would do in a French exam! But in real spoken French, we would absolutely prefer:
Ben, c’est pas que je veux pas, mais je peux pas l’aider, là.
OK, that’s better! But all these “e” sounds slow us down too much. When speaking, they don’t roll off the tongue properly. So let’s get rid of them:
Ben, c’est pas que j’veux pas, mais j’peux pas l’aider, là.
Now that’s more like real spoken French!
As you explore more and more of Spoken French, you’ll find more recurring patterns of course, like:
– Simplified questions: asking “Tu veux quoi ?” instead of the very formal “Que veux-tu ?”
– Or informal vocabulary, like saying “un truc” for “quelque chose” (something), “bosser” for “travailler” (to work), or “un pote” instead of “un ami” (a friend) !
OK, these are all tips to get a feel for spoken French. But the important part isn’t that you end up with “more rules to learn.”
In fact…
5) Your key to real spoken French
You can already use the basic French that you know to communicate. You’re free to make mistakes, or simplify. Native speakers do that all the time.
If you’re afraid to feel lost, you can keep these simple sentences in your backpocket:
“Tu peux répéter, s’il te plaît ?”→ Can you repeat please ? (if they speak a bit too fast)
“Attends… euh…” → Wait, hmm… (to buy time when looking for a word)
“Ça me va.” / “Pas d’souci.” → OK for me! (when in doubt, be positive)
But you don’t need to learn more “correct French” rules. You need to wire in the “real spoken French” for friends, movies, small talk and friendships.
The key is simple but you can see it in different ways, such as:
– use the forms you actually hear
– pay attention to what they say and how they say it
– embrace the music
These are all synonyms, of course.
That’s how you can notice, for instance, that French people say:
– “Chais pas” instead of “Je ne sais pas” (I don’t know),
– or “J’ai pas l’temps” instead of “Je n’ai pas le temps” (I don’t have the time) – we cut the “ne” and the weak “e”.
– or “Tu viens ce soir ?” instead of “Viens-tu ce soir ? Est-ce que tu viens ce soir ?”
– colloquial expressions like “T’inquiètes !” for “Ne t’inquiète pas” (= don’t worry about it)
By repeating what you hear, and using it again with your own voice, you’ll become much more comfortable than if you learned about it passively. Your mouth learns faster than your brain!
You need to learn real-life chunks of words, instead of a list of isolated vocabulary. You need to feel how we cut some “e” and not others (for the flow of a sentence), and how to cut some words.
Finally, another synonyme, another angle to look at the same key, is to play pretend. It’s a trick, but it’s a good one. When you play, you stop getting in your own way. You stop caring about grammar mistakes or what’s the right rule here – but you use what you know to sound like a French person. You don’t claim to be a great speaker – but you have simple fun by reusing the chunks and music of French sentences that you’ve heard. You’ll feel allowed to say things like “Tu peux m’filer un coup d’main s’il te plaît ?” (= can you lend me a hand, please?)
You speak now, you make mistakes, and you refine it as you go, by following how other French speakers say it. And that’s how French is actually spoken!
Dites-moi – qu’est-ce que vous trouvez le plus difficile en français ?
(What do you find the most difficult in French?)
Don’t forget to download your free ‘Personalized Weekly Action Plan’ – a step-by-step roadmap with daily activities tailored for your level, progress tracking tools, and proven strategies to overcome common French challenges.
À bientôt !
I live in France and do OK with my formal French in everyday situations. But, I struggle to understand spoken French, especially the colloquial French spoken by my French friends. I feel I am too slow to understand and respond, which does not allow the conversation to flow naturally.
Merci pour ton leçon