Today, let’s go over a key lesson to help you speak French with confidence.
This can save you from every awkward silence you’ll ever have in French – making your conversations a lot less stressful, without even needing to learn more weird grammar to use it.
Picture this: you’re talking to someone in French. It’s going fine. And suddenly — you need a word. And it’s not there. You freeze.
The person is looking at you. The silence stretches. Your face gets hot. Your brain offers you the English word, but it doesn’t really help. You don’t want to switch back to English! So you start thinking and it goes in circles and you think:
“I’m not good enough. If I was a good student, if I had done more homework, I would never have this problem. Maybe I’ll never be fluent. Maybe I’m just too old for this.”
…Well, that’s wrong.
You see, French people — native speakers who’ve spoken French since birth — do this exact same thing. Every single day.
In this lesson, you’ll get the exact same toolkit every French person uses when our brain freezes. And you’ll never feel bad about getting stuck ever again.
C’est parti !
1) LE MENSONGE – THE BIG LIE YOU WERE TOLD
You’ve probably never seen a French textbook that includes someone stuck for words in a conversation. You’ve never had a teacher say “and here’s how French people mangle their sentences.” The written dialogues were smooth and polished, and the actors in movies speak clearly with a nice flow. So without realizing it, you started to believe that’s how French is supposed to sound.
That’s a lie.
French people hesitate constantly. I look for my words every other sentence. I forget words when I’m tired. I pause when someone asks me a question. I need a moment to gather my thoughts.
In the example of an interview in the video lesson above, French artist Orelsan hesitates a lot in his answer: false starts, “euh”, backtracking, asking “Comment dire” (= How to say….), trailing off. Even as he’s explaining his own project:
En fait c’est l’histoire de… D’un personnage qui fuit. Donc du coup, euh… On a construit les démons autour de la fuite. Y’a les démons de… euh… des addictions… Ça parle de… // Mais globalement, c’est un film assez, euh, comment dire, assez grand public, où en fait, euh, on s’divertit, quoi. // Et du coup, il, comment dire — ouais, c’est, c’est un peu aussi la… le rapport de quelqu’un qui veut vivre dans un autre pays mais qui finalement, euh, va vite déchanter aussi par rapport à ça.
Just like you in English! That’s just how the human brain works.
In our native language though, we developed techniques and tricks to deal with that situation. That’s what being fluent means – it means hesitating naturally. You don’t panic. You don’t apologize. You keep the conversation alive.
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2) LE POURQUOI – WHY YOU ACTUALLY FREEZE
Why do you freeze? Most of the time: you need a word, you can’t find it, you stop. Je l’ai sur le bout de la langue (= I have it at the tip of my tongue.)
Sometimes it’s something else, like:
a) The Perfectionist Freeze
You know a word that would work, but it’s not quite right.
For instance: you want to say “I’m excited about this trip.” You can’t remember if “excité” works here. While you’re thinking, ten seconds pass.
→ Pick “Good Enough” French, à peu près. Say something less complicated. Like “Je suis contente pour le voyage.” Yes, it’s not the perfect sentence, but you did communicate something. Then move on.
b) The Constructor Freeze
It’s when you try to build the entire sentence in your head before opening your mouth. Subject, verb, object, agreement, tense — you’re checking everything. By the time it’s ready, the moment is gone.
→ Start talking. Even if you don’t know how the sentence ends. It helps if you keep simpler sentences too. (Native speakers figure out their sentences as they go.)
c) The Panic Freeze.
You freeze because you’re afraid of freezing. The anxiety shuts everything down.
→ Relax, yes, and start speaking as well.
It’s all easy to say, harder to practice, though. Build un filet de sécurité (= a safety net) – so even if you blank completely, you have ways to keep going.
A few tools can be helpful in all the situations, so let’s build them together now.
3) LEVEL 1: BASIC FILLERS
When you need half a second to think — just a tiny pause — you use what I call basic fillers, like:
- Euh… → The French “hum,” that we all use when looking for words.
- Ben… → A casual “well”
- Alors → “So”, a bit more elegant, and you can repeat it.
- Tu vois → “You see”, a nice way to invite your friend in your sentence
You can use each of them on its own, or combine them: Alors euh, Ben tu vois, etc.
This is really how French people speak in everyday life.
Practice saying them with me in the video – your mouth needs to practice them well.
4) LEVEL 2: THINKING PHRASES
Sometimes you need more than a basic filler, but une phrase pour réfléchir (= a complete sentence for thinking) – to gain more time to think about your answer.
Like:
- Ah, bonne question (= Good question) → Also makes the other person feel smart.
- C’est compliqué (= That’s complicated) → You announce that you’re taking time to bring enough nuance to your answer.
- Comment dire… (= How could I say that) → Announcing that you have the idea, but you’re looking for a way to say it
- Attends (attendez), laisse(z)-moi réfléchir (= Wait, let me think) → Direct and simple. People will give you some time.
5) Interlude: Practice, reaction training
You might have heard about these tools already, to be honest. Now you need to practice them until they become a reflex. You don’t want to need some time to think about how to say “I need some time to think!”, you know?
It needs to come to mind easily when you’re stressed or in a real French conversation.
So train your reflex with everyday practice. You can use the video lesson above. Or you can try to answer these questions yourself with a filler word or sentence:
- Qu’est-ce que tu fais ce week-end ? (= What are you doing this weekend?)
- C’est quoi ton film préféré ? (= What’s your favorite movie?)
- Tu penses quoi des fromages français ? (= What do you think about French cheese?)
- Qu’est-ce que tu vas apprendre en français, après ? (= What are you going to learn in French, next?)
Do this in your car. In the shower. Walking the dog. Ask yourself random questions in French and force yourself to start answering within two seconds, using these tools.
6) LEVEL 3: THE RESTATE TECHNIQUE
Restating is something you probably do naturally in English already. When someone asks you a question, instead of answering immediately, you restate the important part of the question first.
This way, you buy time, and you make sure you understood correctly, and it makes you sound more engaged.
For instance, if someone asks “Qu’est-ce que tu penses de la politique française ?” (= What do you think about French politics?), you don’t have to answer right away. It’s a big question and you might need some time to gather your thoughts, especially in a second language. You can also start with a filler, yes, or with something like:
Ah… La politique française, ce que j’en pense… Eh ben…
(= Ah, French politics, what I think about it, well…)
This sounds really conversational. Especially starting with a long “Ah…” You sound like someone who takes the question seriously, and they want to listen to what you have to say next.
Try it for yourself! Try restating these questions:
- C’est quoi ton endroit préféré en France ? (= What’s your favorite place in France?)
- C’est quoi ton plus beau souvenir de l’année dernière ? (= What’s your best memory from last year?)
- C’est quoi le dernier livre que tu as adoré ? (= What’s the last book you loved?)
7) LEVEL 4: PLACEHOLDER WORDS
When you’ve exhausted your filler words, you might need to work around your freeze using placeholder words. Like:
- Le truc (= informal for “the thing”) = le machin = le bidule → when you don’t know what something is called. Everyone understands, it’s relaxed and conversational. You can add some description on it, like what it’s for, or the color, or anything.
For instance:
- J’ai perdu le bidule, là. (= I lost the thingy, here.)
- C’est quoi ce machin sur la table ? (= What’s that thingy on the table?)
- C’est quoi ce truc ? (= What’s that thing?)
- C’est tout un truc. (= It’s a whole thing.)
- Faut mettre le truc dans le machin, là. (= You have to put the thing in the other thing, here.)
- Le truc pour ouvrir les bouteilles (= the thing to open bottles) → le tire-bouchon (the corkscrew.)
- Le truc contre la pluie (= the thing against the rain) → un parapluie (= an umbrella)
- Le truc qui sert à couper (= the cutting thing) → un couteau (= a knife)
For people:
- Le gars, le type (= the guy)
- La femme, la fille (= the woman / girl)
- Le monsieur, la dame (= the man, the woman, respectful)
→ Le gars en bleu là-bas (= the guy in blue over there), la dame qui regarde les tickets (= the lady who checks the tickets, la contrôleuse)
For places and more:
- L’endroit (= the place),
- Le coin (= the area, this corner)
- C’est quand… (= “it’s when…” = the time / the situation)
- Le délire (= the situation, the idea, informal) → Ouais, je comprends le délire. (= Yeah, I understand the idea, the intention, the appeal.)
The point is: you want to keep the conversation moving, even if you don’t have quite the right word. You can always use a placeholder if you need to. The word didn’t come — so what? You worked around it. That’s fluency.
8) ADVANCED: FILLERS AS SOCIAL TOOLS
Fillers aren’t just for buying time. In French, they’re tools for navigating social situations. The way you hesitate sends a signal. It can be used for:
a) Softening disagreement
Ouais, enfin… (= Yeah, well, on the other hand…) → softens a disagreement politely and informally. Much smoother than “You’re wrong” !
— Paris, c’est la plus belle ville du monde ! (= Paris is the most beautiful city in the world!)
— Ouais, enfin… ça dépend de ce qu’on cherche, non ? (= Yeah, well, I mean… It depends on what you’re looking for, doesn’t it.)
b) Preparing someone for something delicate
Signal that you’re about to say something honest that might be hard to hear, for instance with: Ben, c’est-à-dire que… (= Well, that is to say…)
— Tu viens à la fête ce soir ?
(= Are you coming to the party tonight?)
— Ben, c’est-à-dire que… j’ai beaucoup de travail en ce moment…
(= Well, it’s that… I have a lot of work these days…)
c) Showing you’re thinking directly
Signal that you thought about what you’re going to say, like:
Écoute… / Écoutez… (= Listen)
Alors, écoute, tu vois, je comprends ce que tu dis, mais…
(= Well, listen, you see, I understand what you’re saying, but..)
t’s a way of showing respect for the question while preparing to give a real answer.
These are just a few examples of fillers as social tools. These are advanced moves. But as you get comfortable with the basics, start listening for these nuances. Start noticing how French people use small words to navigate socially. It’s a whole layer of communication that textbooks never teach.
9) PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
Let me show you how this all sounds in real conversation.
Imagine you’re trying to say: “Yesterday I went to that new bakery on the corner and bought the almond croissant thing, but they were out of baguettes.”
But you don’t know “bakery,” you forgot “corner,” and “almond” just disappeared from your brain.
Here’s what you do:
Hier je suis allée au… tu sais, le truc où on achète le pain, le nouveau, là… c’est dans la rue, euh… comment dire… au bout de la rue. Et j’ai acheté le croissant avec les… les trucs blancs, là, les machins… tu vois, les petites choses qu’on met sur les gâteaux… [you mime] … et ils avaient plus de baguettes.
(= Yesterday I went to… you know, the thing where you buy bread, the new one, there… it’s on street… how to say… at the end of the street. And I bought the croissant with the… the white thingies… you know, the small stuff you put on cakes… and they didn’t have any baguette left.)
It’s messy, but you know what? You’re being understood – that’s real French conversation! Congrats!
For a more complex scenario: let’s say someone asks your opinion on a topic.
— Tu penses quoi du télétravail ? (= What do you think about work from home?)
You’re not totally sure what to say, so you might navigate:
Ah, bonne question… alors, le télétravail, c’est compliqué, tu vois. C’est-à-dire que… d’un côté, c’est bien pour… enfin, comment dire… la flexibilité, quoi. Mais en même temps… ouais, enfin, c’est pas toujours facile pour… le truc social, là, avec les collègues. Donc, euh… ça dépend, je dirais.
(= Ah, good question… well, work from home, it’s complicated, you see. It’s that… on the one hand, it’s good for… well, how to say… flexibility. But on the other hand… yeah, well, it’s not always easy for… the social thing, with colleagues. So, well… it depends, I’d say.)
Did you catch everything in there?
- Ah, bonne question — bought time, flattered them
- Alors — filler
- C’est compliqué — signaled nuance coming
- Tu vois — invited them in
- C’est-à-dire que — prepared to explain
- Enfin — mid-thought hesitation
- Comment dire — searching for words
- Quoi — little ending tag, very casual French
- Ouais, enfin — soft pivot to counterpoint
- Le truc social — placeholder for “social dynamics” or whatever word you couldn’t find
- Donc, euh — wrapping up with uncertainty
- Je dirais — “I would say” — softening your opinion
That’s maybe 30 seconds of speaking, full of fillers and hesitations – but it sounds completely natural!
10) THE FINAL REFRAME
French conversation is a collaboration, like a dance.
When you hesitate, you’re not failing. You’re inviting the other person to help. You’re creating space for them to fill in a word, to nod encouragingly, to show they’re following.
French people expect hesitations. They’re part of the rhythm. When you speak too perfectly, too smoothly, it can actually feel strange — like you memorized something.
The “euh”s and “ben”s and “tu vois”s make you sound human. They make you sound real, like you’re actually thinking and part of the conversation.
So give yourself permission.
Permission to hesitate. Permission to search for words. Permission to use “le truc” and “le machin” and describe things instead of naming them. Permission to be imperfect.
Because imperfect, hesitant, searching-for-words French is real everyday French.
And that’s what you want to learn.
YOUR PRACTICE PLAN
Here’s what you can do this week.
Day 1-2: Basic fillers
Every time you’re alone — in your car, cooking, showering — narrate what you’re doing in French. When you don’t know a word, don’t stop. Say “euh” and keep going. Say “le truc” and keep going. Build the habit of continuous speech.
Day 3-4: Reaction training
Set a timer for 5 minutes. Ask yourself random questions in French. Answer them, starting within 2 seconds, using a thinking phrase. Ah, bonne question… C’est compliqué… Comment dire… Train the reflex.
Day 5-6: Describing
Pick 10 random objects around your house. Describe each one in French without using its name. What’s it for? What’s it like? Could someone guess what you mean?
Day 7: Real conversation
If you have any opportunity to speak French this week — with a tutor, a language partner, in a shop — use at least one filler and one placeholder deliberately. Notice how it feels. Notice that nobody cares. Notice that you kept talking.
Don’t worry if it feels like too much hesitation, sometimes. The more you’re ready to use filler words, the more you allow yourself to speak. And the more you speak, the more confident you get. You’ll stop freezing, you’ll have the safety net, the tools you need to be more relaxed when speaking. And then, you won’t need as many filler words at all!
So practice getting stuck on purpose.
Forget a word deliberately. Use “le truc.” Describe it.
Pause intentionally. Say “comment dire.” Continue.
Make it a game. Practice the recovery until it’s automatic.
Because one day, probably sooner than you think, you’ll be mid-conversation, your brain will blank on a word, and without even thinking you’ll say tu sais, le machin là, c’est pour… and you’ll keep going.
And you won’t even notice you did it.
Because that’s just how you speak French now.
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You’ve got this.
À très vite !